Posted by: Leap of Faith | April 1, 2008

Thanks for Your Time, Luigi


Last night was particularly stressful for all of us.  After having Dominos Pizza for dinner, Luigi, Pinky and I had several petty arguments, which were mostly centered around our son regularly ignoring (delay in doing)  things that we tell him to do (i.e. take a bath after dinner, help clean the table, etc).  I would rather not get into specific details as to how these arguments turned out but, needless to say, we all ended up being emotionally upset.

What I would rather like to focus on is the special (father-son) time that Luigi and I had after we all had a chance to blow off our steam.  It was really a touching moment.  I tried, as best as I could, to listen to his many grievances and also to explain to him where Pinky and I were coming from.  We were both so composed and calm to say the least and that, I guess, was the key for us to have a great dialogue.

Aside from trying to settle our differences, we also discussed about how I was as a child, how my parents were and if I was happy or not.  I can only hope that by sharing my own childhood, this will help my son appreciate his own.

I stayed beside Luigi until he fell asleep (or at least when I thought he was sleeping).  What touched me most out of these experience were these words which he told me… “Thank you for staying with me.” Those words hit me to the bone.  I guess bottom line, we all wish we could spend more time with our parents without having to compete for attention with any sibling.

Life would be so perfect if only we could split ourselves into many pieces and equally share a part of us to all those we love.  Unfortunately, I guess if that happened then we would not be living in a real world.

Son, I must be the one who should thank you for giving me a chance to know you more.  I pray that we would have more bonding time in the future.

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Responses

  1. i really do think that having dialogues with our kids is very good practice…moreso in luigi’s case because he is old enough to understand you and pinky, and to express himself.

    it’s great that you were able to settle whatever arguments you had before all of you went to bed. i understand how it must be difficult to spread your time and attention to all 3 kids. i also believe that it’s important that you and pinky get to have one on one time with each of them…something they will be able to cherish and remember when they’re all grown up already. those times need not be very elaborate. we very well know how much our children enjoy our full and undivided attention. 😉

    feel na feel ko ang bonding time niyo ni luigi. nalaman ko pa naman through the random things you and pinky listed about him that he is a very sweet and sensitive boy. very touching! 🙂 maybe you and pinky can alternate tucking in the boys at night so you can both spend some quiet time with them. pero what to do with marga? hee hee. 😀

    hugs and kisses to you all! mmmwah!

    Weng, it was really nice to have a chat with Luigi – something we honestly get to overlook now with our current situation. Grabe lang just thinking of it kasi I guess, as a parent, you always think of your kids as little children who always need you to dicatate things for them. I have a hard time reconciling that they are now starting to grow up and slowly become adults. I guess our parents felt that way too when we were growing up.

    I really see the value of spending more one-on-one time with our kids (even if it is such a difficult, and seemingly impossible, task). Thanks for the tip. We used to tuck our boys at night but things have changed since we moved to the KSA, partly as we felt that they need to learn to be more independent. Apparently, kids, even when they grow up, will still be kids longing for a parent’s attention and affection.

  2. I couldn’t help but well up again as I was reading your post since last night was most definitely an emotionally-charged moment.

    I really pray for the special grace to be able to give each of our children the attention and love they need. As we both know too well by now, parenting and raising children do not come with handbooks! We have to relate with each of our children based on their unique personalities and circumstances and despite the many trying times we experience in raising them, I am relying on the good grace of God to see us through.

    I’m very sure God will give us the grace to provide all the attention our children need (and leave some time for us too). It is so difficult but I guess that is the challenges of being a parent (especially one who lives in a foreign land). Di bale, what is good is that there is two of us to manage the whole situation. At least one of us can take cover for the other when things are not going on as planned. We should both learn to count 1-10 when we are already feeling like Pinatubo.

  3. putting myself in luigi’s shoes, na-appreciate ko rin yung effort niyo to have a dialogue with him. like weng said, he’s already grown-up enough to know he doesn’t need to be treated like a baby anymore.

    if only more parents (especially here sa aming bansa) would take the time to talk to their kids, then sana there would be less misunderstood kids running around today. kaya lang, in this fast-paced busy world, minsan its just seems much easier to dictate what we want to our kids rather than listen to what they want.

    i’ll take note of this for myself. 🙂 syempre. though ninna and i have our little dialogues too, its more of a caveman talking to another caveman kind of thing pa, hehe. i’m glad you were able to settle this with luigi. it redefines the saying “time is gold” no?

    Meeya, communicating is so crucial in any relationship. Unfortunately, it is easier said than done. I’d like to think that medyo open na nga kami with our kids and yet we have still many moments when we breakdown in our communication efforts. It is really stressful. I told Pinky na I can’t imagine our two boys turning into teenagers soon… oh no!

    Naku, I so agree with you. I think I would struggle living in the US. I don’t know if I would be able to communicate well with my children especially since teenagers there are just so out-of-control (of course, I’m sure nasa upbringing din yon ng parents).

    I can picture you and Ninna having your cute dialogues. Enjoy it. I’m sure Ninna will remember the time you spent with her when she grows up.

  4. btw, i tagged you. it’s HERE. enjoy! thanks! 🙂

  5. ow golly, keith. you made teary eyed sa last lines na sinulat mo. sigh… ang sarap pakinggan. i must say keith (and pinky), that you guys truly are wonderful parents. and i’m sure you’re kids will grow up to be wonderful people, just like you two. cheers to you guys 😉

    Thanks, Nell. I really do hope that they gro up to be fine people kasi in this day and age everything is just going wrong. Parents, more often than not, neglect their children and this leads to so much hatred and anger in the kids. I hope our kids grow up knowing that they are loved.


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