Posted by: Leap of Faith | February 2, 2008

Parenting 101 (again)


Question: How do you manage to understand and give a child what she wants or needs when she is just 18 months old? 

Keith:  Ahhhh (struggling with an answer) … you carry her around whenever and wherever she wants, that is unless you consider her endless screaming and crying as music to your ears?  EH! (sound of buzzer in the background)

I know that is the wrong answer but that is how I am now.  Actually, it is embarrassing to admit that despite the fact that Marga is our third child, it seems that Pinky and I are like first time parents… panicking struggling to understand baby lingo when we hear it. 

Of course, I would justify my actions by saying that any parent would do the same especially when they have a very outspoken and strong willed baby like ours.  But I guess that would merit another big “EH!” from all of you.  Hay, parenting is so hard. Grrrr.

To be honest, I guess (deep inside) I just like the thought of my little girl clinging on to me and embracing me (while screaming in my ears – ouch!). Masochist? No. I just want to enjoy the moment since I actually dread the day when she will grow up and no longer want to do that or be with me anymore.  I seriously think that feeling is justified especially since she is our last baby.

I guess I felt the same with our two boys (particularly since we always thought we would not have any more babies after Luigi and Rafael).  Babies (especially if they are yours) are just so cute that you would like to give them anything they want – even at the risk of turning them into irritating Bratinos or Bratinas.  I would like to think that parents are naturally that way… it makes you feel special when you know you are manipulated wanted.

Anyway, I would like to think that our boys, so far, turned out to be well grounded and behaved children… far from the nightmarish kids we watch in the Supper Nanny.  I take that as something positive, which both Pinky and I can claim credit for.  As for Marga, hmmm, I am sure in time we will manage as well to keep her from turning into one of those spoiled little brats who always get what they want *Keith smirking*  But, in the mean time, I would like to enjoy being a father first.  I say “to hell with Parenting 101!”

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Responses

  1. Why did alarm bells just ring so loudly in my head after I read your post? Someone send the paramedics as I am having a panic attack!

    Am sorry but I will have to disagree as I feel it’s important to already lay the foundations of discipline for a child (even if she is ours) early on – especially for someone as strong-willed as Marga!

    I’m not saying that we turn a deaf ear to her everytime she throws a tantrum but I guess balance is key here – being able to show her “tough love” once in a while won’t hurt her a bit for as long as we also are generous with our hugs and kisses, right? 🙂

    ‘Nuf said.

    Oh, is that why you show me tough love every now and then… I like that 🙂

    Seriously, she really knows what to do to get me to give her what she wants. That huggie thingie that she does to me is just a winner! Yeah, I guess we have to start disciplining her even at this age, especially since she understands already and can communicate to us.

    Pwede, I’ll just tell her that you will get mad if she does not do things right? Okay ba yon?

  2. sorry keith, but i just have to go with pinky on this one. *girl power!*

    seriously, i also believe in tough love. dapat maaga pa lang you should be able to set limits with marga na. eto nga, feeling ko kaya whiny and clingy si ninna with my hubby is because (like you) di makatiis ng anak yung ama (and she darn well knows it). feeling ni hubby kasi he spends so much time at work na yung little time na bonding sila ni ninna gusto niya happy sila lagi. guilty yata, kaya ayun enabler.

    pero, that’s not to say na valedictorian ako sa parenting. kung baga nga sa college student, parang apat na taong na akong freshman pa rin, hehe. at hindi ko rin sinasabi na we shouldn’t care pag totoong in distress na ang anak natin (hello, 911!). pero kasi discipline is a big thing for me. belief ko kasi na pag sanay sa limits ang bata ng maaga pa lang, mas madali for her to face life on her own pagdating ng araw kasi magiging second nature na sa kanya an pag-discern ng what’s right and what’s not right for her as well as how to solve her problems without whining to her dad first, hehe.

    anyway, i can’t believe you are having problems with sweet marga! oh right, terribles twos. good luck na lang 😀

    Meeya, I thought it was Pinky who posted the comment. It must be a girl thing.

    I hate to admit it but I know what you guys are saying is correct… hay, hirap talaga if you don’t discipline them early kasi it will eventually haunt you… especially when they become out-of-control in the end. Oh, I hope that does not happen.

    I know what Hubby A is also feeling. Ako naman, ang feeling ko lang they will grow up soon and wala na kaming baby na aalagaan. They are so cute kasi until they become little monster by age 5… hehehe.

    Anyway, buti na lang I watch Supper Nanny and learned the naughty corner from Nanny Frost. I think it works kasi Marga stopped crying when I told her she will go to naught corner. Yung nga lang.. it broke my heart when I had to implement it. Hay!

  3. No way am I being the “bad cop” – ever!!! Chura! Hmph! 😦

    Baka lang makalusot 🙂

  4. parenting is definitely one tough job. in my case, co-parent ako and sometimes me and my sis have different opinions. i have a tendency to spoil a kid kasi, while my sis wanted things done in moderation. which is correct naman talaga. however, in terms of discipline we are on the same page. and though it is heartbreaking seeing kids cry when they’re corrected, we really need to do what’s necessary. dba?

    but since marga is still a baby, she can still get away with some stuff. and that’s given cause she’s young and the unica hija pa. dba? enjoy this moment guys, pag nagsilakihan na sila eh we cant kiss them anymore in public. hahahaha 😀

    Exactly my sentiments, Nell. Oh, how I dread that time when they will choose to be with other people. Grrr… Anyway, I guess that is a fact of life.

  5. do parents ever graduate from “parenting 101”? 😀 having a child brings all of us such great joy yet raising them can sometimes be a source of tremendous frustration. we, too encounter some problems with abby that sometimes we are left wondering where we ever went wrong. 😀 hee hee hee! abby has her naughty and whiny moments and it always breaks my heart to have to deal with them. but a parent’s got to do what a paren’ts got to do. so God help us all. 😀

    Actually, you are right, Weng. I don’t think we will ever graduate from parenting. No matter how many children you have, they will always be different from one another so every new child means learning a different style of raising them up again. Children are such a blessing until they turn on their bad side… Arrgh! Anyway, let us just do what we need to do… nip them in the bud ika nga. Hay, hirap.


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