Posted by: Leap of Faith | October 6, 2007

Skinito


The past few posts have all been about my children.  So I hope you do indulge me as I share another “all about my children moment” today.

Last night, as Pinky and my oldest son, Luigi, were preparing for another round of his quiz bee elimination, and I was busy trying to make our daughter, Marga, fall asleep, I noticed my other son, Rafael, quietly resting in his room.  It was almost 11 in the evening and we asked him to sleep ahead so he would get enough rest for school the following day.

Rafael, unlike his brother and sister, is more reserved.  It takes a while before he is able to warm up and join in the fun.  I reckon this is partly due to the close birth gap between my oldest son, who is more a livewire, and him. Pinky conceived our second boy while Luigi was only 10 months old (talk about hot stuff) and that made us so worried about so many things, to be specific our finances and being able to adequately shower our two children equally with the much needed attention.

Our experience that time proved to be one Pinky and I will both remember.  A good family friend of ours, Tita Brenda Dagelet from Ligaya ng Panginoon, said some words that truly hit us both to the core.  She said something like this “God will never give you anything you can  not handle. He will always provide food on your table as long as you believe in Him.” We claimed on this promise and true enough God has always been faithful in providing us with our family’s needs;  in fact, most of the time, He has been more than generous to say the least.

Another concern we had was whether we would be able to provide enough (equal) attention to our young boys.  Being a newly married couple then, and inexperienced parents at that, this was really a major issue.  How do we split what was left of our time between two demanding and growing toddlers? To make things worse, Rafael was not exactly the healthy baby we all wished for (despite his seemingly 8 poundish appearance).  He was very fragile being born with weak lungs that eventually led to asthma and breath-holding spells when he was a toddler.

Again, we learned that for every child that God has given you, He will also equip you with the special graces you need to care for them.  Despite the many heart-stopping moments we had with our son (i.e. when he was confined in the hospital when he was barely two weeks old and his numerous asthma attacks) all still went well in the end.  Rafael, despite his now skinny physique (i.e. hence the name “skinito”), has eventually outgrown his breath holding spells and his asthma attacks have been more controlled since we moved here to the mid-east.  Rafael remains reserved, at times, yet he can be boisterous and full of life if he wants too (and believe me,  he can really make our heads spin out-of-control so often).

Equally splitting our time between our children, now three, continue to remain a challenge, which we hope to be able to address soon.  In the meantime, we pray that our boys will understand how difficicult it is for us to juggle the little time that we have between caring for all three of them, going to work and doing all the house chores.  Son, even if Mama and Papa don’t get to spend as much time with you as we did before, I truly wish that you will always remember how much Mama and Papa love you.  You are very special to us, just like your brother and sister are too.  Always believe in yourself and know that you still have so much talents to discover that you can share to other people.  

Don’t grow up too fast – Mama and Papa still want to enjoy hugging and kissing you.  I especially love smelling your hair, which despite a long and hot day, still smells so fresh as when you just woke up. Let the girls wait… this is still our turn. 

We love you very much!

PS:  I enjoyed reading that story with you and your sister last night (*wink*).  I hope we can have more bonding moments next time. 

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Responses

  1. Hi Keith! I remember reading somewhere or maybe from an episode I saw before of Super Nanny, that it’s also important to go on one-on-one dates with each of your children so you get to bond with them without them having to “compete” with another sibling. 😉

    If Rafa was conceived when Luigi was only 10 months old, Edward, my brother, was born when I was only 10 months old! Now that’s even hotter stuff. Hahaha!

    Don’t we all wish our kids would slow down growing up just a little! 😉 We all don’t want the kissing and hugging to stop! 😀

    Yes, Weng, I think I saw that in one of the episodes of Super Nanny… hay, hirap to do it when you have so many children… solo dates nga namin ni Pinky sobrang limited… although, oo nga, we have to do it din once in a while.

    Wow… Tita Emy got pregnant when you were just one month old… galing ng dad mo.

    Yes, I keep on telling them to stop growing up so fast but that doesn’t seem to work – I wish they could always be our little babies.

  2. Hon, up until now, I still worry if I may be neglecting Rafa because of all the attention commanded by Luigi’s “strong presence” and Marga’s “demanding personality”.

    I honestly pray that Rafa will soon come to his own and be confident and more comfortable in his own skin. More importantly, I pray for the grace to be able to shower him with as much love as he needs for him to “blossom” and achieve his full potential.

    Rafa, please know that Mama and Papa love you very much and that we will always be here for you. We are very proud of you and will always support you the best way we can.

    Lastly, I have to attest that the Lord has indeed been very generous and faithful to us despite our many doubting moments… Hope we remember this especially as we face more challenging parenting moments 🙂 Love you! Mwah!

    Hon, you forgot that middle children are more resilient and can adjust more easily to different situations. I should know. I’m sure Rafael will eventually come out of his shell and “blossom.” Anyway, no need to worry… you’re doing fine…

    Yes, the Lord has been indeed faithful to His promises. I’m sure He will also be there for us when things just get too difficult to handle.

  3. one of the reasons why i write/blog is so that, one day, my daughter may be able to read what i had written and eventually get a better understanding of (and acceptance for) the decisions i have made for her.

    my parents were both working (hard) when i and my siblings were little, so we grew up not having a lot of bonding moments, even harboring a few resentments on the side. it was only when we were much older, and when my parents have significantly mellowed down, that we learned to understand everything they have done for us.

    through this medium, i hope my daughter will grow with me as she reads how i grew up with my hit-and-miss-style parenting. hopefully, too, she’ll read as many ‘i love yous’ as i can fit in every ninna-related post in the event that i may become too busy to say enough of those words to her in the future. and maybe, she can pick out something from the right things i’ve done (or will do), to share with her own kids someday.

    as for your rafa, i’m sure he and his siblings will get to read this very well-written and loving journal someday and see for themselves how you’ve always had the best intentions in your heart for them and how lucky they are to have you as their parents. 🙂

    Thanks so much meeya. I guess all parents try their best to give as much as they can to their children… things that we didn’t really have enough of when we were younger. I too wish I could have spent more time with my mom when I was growing up but given our circumstances then, my mom being a single parent, that was really not possible since she had to work in the hospital most of the time. The good things is that we become mature as we become older and we finally understand the reason/s behind why our parents acted so strangely before. It’s also good that we have our blogs now… just in case our children don’t understand the decisions we’ve made when they are older.


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